How to Ruin Your Work Reputation Slowly

by LIZ WOLGEMUTH

It isn't hard to ruin your reputation online these days—blogging about your boss, Twittering about your customers, posting Facebook pictures that involve copious amounts of alcohol and otherwise inappropriate props. But there's a danger in all of the conversations and lessons about online etiquette: Forgetting that most reputations are made or lost in the office.

While some workers make big, reputation-destroying mistakes (think plagiarism or sexual harassment), the vast majority make a series of choices that can quietly build or ruin their professional image in the workplace. "What I find is that most people undermine their credibility in little ways and they do it because they don't mind their '-ilities,'" says Emily Bennington, coauthor of Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. Think punctuality, dependability, humility, accountability. "It's not so much that they make these major mistakes ... What they do is that they slowly chip away at it."

Careful communications: E-mail is a sensitive area. These typed communiques can easily impress groups of colleagues with a worker's communication skills, or lack thereof. "Reputations get destroyed by this so frequently," says Sandy Allgeier, author of The Personal Credibility Factor: How to Get It, Keep It, and Get It Back (If You've Lost It). For one thing, E-mail reveals a worker's sensitivity to the office culture and others' time. If you're frequently cc'd on mail that has no bearing on your work, you may begin to doubt the sender's discernment.

Then there's the ominous "reply all." Everyone knows the accidental office-wide reply can be devastating, but there's plenty of harm in the intentional "reply all." An E-mail reply that's terse, caustic, or cryptic might make sense to a single recipient who knows the writer well, but it rarely translates to a broad audience. Replies that are driven by organizational tensions or are an emotional reaction can be particularly dangerous. E-mail generally seems like a quick way to communicate to a broad group, "but it can become the most inefficient thing in the world," Allgeier says. Large-audience E-mails are rarely wise for dealing with a controversial issue or for being humorous. A regular habit of insensitive, unwise digital communications can leave coworkers with a negative impression that's "almost irreversible," Allgeier says.

In the public eye: Meetings are another danger zone.New hires are often eager to look good among more experienced colleagues, so they're quick to raise a hand when there's an opportunity. Younger workers who are ambitious and want to be seen as contributors can have quick responses that are not helpful, Allgeier says. Better qualities to display: attentiveness and inquisitiveness. "You should really be feeling free to ask more questions," she adds. "This is especially true of people who are trying to make their mark." Young professionals sometimes feel that they will be judged if they've sat through a meeting without saying anything, Bennington notes. But a contribution needs to have a strong basis and foundation to be useful. "Sometimes you can be too eager," she says.

Similarly, employees who interrupt their boss or embarrass their boss in a meeting will quickly chip away at their reputations. "Make sure you understand the rules of behavior," says Roy Cohen, an executive coach in New York. "That's critical." It's crucial to have your boss's back when you're in a public setting. Even then, your loyalty should come across as thoughtful, not blind.

Relationships: It's easy for professionals to get caught up in their relationships with managers. For many, this is the most important factor in whether a job is worth sticking with. The downside of constantly nurturing your relationship with your boss is its effect on your relationships with coworkers. "I've noticed that new professionals coming into the workforce don't appreciate that their success is as dependent upon colleagues as it is upon their boss," Bennington says. When they have impressed their managers enough to get promoted, these workers often find that the colleagues they've jockeyed for position don't want to work under them. The promoted workers become lone rangers. "I think it's human nature that we want to be superstars and we want to be the best," Bennington says. "It's wonderful to have high expectations for yourself, but it can't come at the expense of the team."

Relationships are critical to actually establishing a reputation for yourself. Indeed, the only thing worse than a bad reputation is no reputation. Some professionals become generic. "They don't stand for anything in the workforce," Bennington says. "It's not so much that they've damaged their reputation, it's that they don't have one at all." Cohen, who's a master coach for the Five O'Clock Club and author of the upcoming book The Wall Street Professional's Survival Guide, says that workers can under-socialize. "There's a sense that if I work really hard, the work will speak for itself," Cohen says. Much of the time, it won't.

First and foremost, Cohen notes, people need to know what it takes to keep a reputation intact. "Then you know what could potentially damage it," he says.

Starting a New Job

So you finally made it to your new workplace. Now take a deep breath and walk in with a smile on your face. Keep your head up and remember to make eye contact. Be polite and friendly to everyone you encounter, whether it's the receptionist or the mailroom clerk, your colleagues or your new boss. Introduce yourself to those you meet and remember that it's okay to ask questions. People generally like to help others and it usually makes them feel good about themselves.

While it's okay to hold onto some of things you learned in your previous jobs and use that knowledge in your new job, remember that every workplace has it's own way of doing things. Your first few weeks or even months on a job is not the time to change the way things get done. Do not utter these words: "That's not how we did it at my old company." Your colleagues will just be thinking this: "Well, you're not at your old company and if you liked it so much why didn't you stay there."

Here are a few more tips to consider when starting a new job:

Tone down the star quality

It's natural to want to impress your co-workers by sharing all of your terrific ideas right away. Resist that impulse.

Most colleagues will be threatened by your new ideas and will reflexively shoot them down.
Why? Because a) they're new ideas, and b) they're yours.

Remember, your co-workers thought they were doing pretty well before you showed up.

Instead, win over your new officemates by simply doing the job you've been assigned to do as well as you can. Then pick out some easy wins, small accomplishments that won't ruffle anyone's feathers but will further demonstrate your competence.

Maybe there's a nagging problem that everyone means to fix, but no one ever gets around to doing it.

There's your first job. Get a couple of minor accomplishments under your belt, and you'll earn your office's trust. After that, your ideas will be judged on their merits, not on who's proposing them.

Don't be Mr./Ms. Personality

Start slow when you're developing relationships. At the outset, respect is more important than friendship.

Be pleasant, be polite - but check your ebullience at the door. You don't get to make jokes for a while or spout off at meetings - gregariousness in a newcomer can be off-putting. It smacks of trying too hard.

Let your work speak for you. After a few weeks, you'll have built up enough good will to let your true self shine through. Get the inside scoop

Here's the challenge: You want to learn the culture of your new workplace - how things are supposed to work and how they really work because of the idiosyncrasies of co-workers - as quickly as possible, but you don't want to come across as prying.

Start by figuring out which people seem to be plugged in. Then approach them with simple questions about process ("How does Ms. Jones like to be kept informed about Project XYZ?"), steering clear of questions about personalities ("What's Ms. Jones really like?").

Chances are good that knowledgeable co-workers will pepper their responses with both types of info ("Send updates by e-mail, and keep them short - Jones is a real cut-to-the-chase type").

This way you get the information you need without looking like you were angling for it.

Know your boundaries at work

The border separating professional and personal relationships isn't easy to patrol, especially at smaller, informal offices. But conversational boundaries help to determine the reputation of an employee and staff. Simply put, boundaries preserve integrity.

Whether you're a principal, manager or rank-and-file employee, taking the following advice will help to ensure that conversations with co-workers never distract from a productive, positive workplace.

Beware of feeling informal. There's generally no clear rule about where to draw the line, so a good rule of thumb is to avoid issues that might make someone uncomfortable. Such topics of conversation may include romance, physical appearance, health, race, religion and personal finance.

Refrain from gossip. Remember: Those who talk to you about others will also talk about you to others.

Most gossip and other inappropriate conversations occur in places that feel informal, such as elevators, hallways and bathrooms or off-site like parking lots, restaurants. But co-workers should never get the false sense of security that they're off duty in these locations.

It's better to pretend your personal microphone is always on. Don't say something if you don't want it heard or repeated.

Forge office friendships with care. When you're at the office for around 2,000 hours a year, you're bound to develop friendships with co-workers. Some may become confidants with whom you share personal details.

Make sure you know and completely trust this kind of co-worker friend. It's a risk any time someone has knowledge about details you don't want to make public, particularly if co-worker friendships fizzle.

Expect boundary differences. The workplace not only combines people of different backgrounds, ages, talents and skills but also folks of different boundary types.

People with "overdeveloped" boundaries often are brash and don't notice they're sharing too much information, while people with "underdeveloped" boundaries often believe it's not OK to protest such communication.

Getting along at work is often a matter of being flexible and willing to compromise. It's also important to be tolerant of individual differences."

Employ tact. If you have a problem with a co-worker, address what you can do to solve it. Talk to the offending person directly and privately. If a co-worker says something that offends or upsets you, try to respond instead of react.

Talking behind someone's back makes the situation worse. Choose a neutral place away from your work area, such as over lunch or in a quiet area during a break.

Give 'em something to talk about

You don't have to be on your own for long. Determine who the influential people are (they are usually the ones whose opinions other people quote), and find a reason to work with them.

Get on their good side (by being competent, pleasant and professional), and you may find that a whole lot more people have started to warm to your presence.

Think of it as the workplace equivalent of a force multiplier. Get other people to toot your horn. Buzz created by others is far more valuable than buzz you drum up yourself. Ask for help, then take charge

Ask questions when you need information to complete an assignment. It's much preferred that employees admit not knowing something and show initiative in learning it rather than costing time and money by struggling with it on their own.

But asking repeatedly gets annoying. Most managers say they valued someone who can take orders and execute them well without having to be told repeatedly what to do.

What is welcome, however, is the employee who is proactive about figuring out what needs to be done and then doing it. One of the biggest mistakes new recruits can make is to assume that when they have nothing to do that there is nothing to do.

Know the boss

Whether you love or hate your managers matters less than whether you know what they value and what you can do to make them successful.

You need to take initiative to find out what's important to your boss and organization. Your value as an employee is measured by your showing results valued by your organization.

Few bosses are consistent about giving helpful feedback. And often they won't express their displeasure with your performance until it's too late. So, said Hollander, it's okay to say to your boss early on, "it would really help me if you could tell me when you're happy or unhappy with my work."

Cultivate good relationships

Good performance is just one part of your success at work. How you get along with managers, colleagues and subordinates is another.

Perception of performance is often colored by the quality of your relationships. Act like you're running for office. You'll need a vote from everyone. (But please ... don't act too much like you're running for office. There's nothing worse than glad-handing politicians with visions of poll numbers dancing in their heads.)

Humor is a big plus, but only if you have a good sense of when to use it and when not to.

Showing respect helps, too. A boss who acts friendly and casual does not mean to imply that “anything goes” and that you don't need to treat him or her with the proper respect.

And, don't skip the deodorant. Be well groomed, even if casual.

Don't watch the clock

This is not the time to work 9 to 5. Try 8 to 6. There's plenty of time to slack off later in life and the boss will take note.

If you have to stay a little late to meet a deadline or pull some hours on a weekend without being asked, it shows your commitment. It shouldn't be routine without compensation, but here or there it can get noticed.

It goes without saying, do not arrive late, be absent or ask for time off in the first 100-days of employment.

Listen…are you ringing the cash register?

It is easy to get distracted by a “to do” list filled with B, C and D priority items to “clear the way” to concentrating on the A priorities, like driving revenue. The fact is, all lesser pressing items somehow take care of themselves when revenues are rapidly increasing.

Even if pending A priorities seem insurmountable, tackle each top priority items during prime time work hours and chip away, move the ball downfield and press through every day. Save email, administrative and "catch-up" work for after hours.

Instead, reach for the sales opportunity first and make growing, contributing and developing promising new avenues to drive your new organization’s top-line, PRIORITY ONE.

It’s About People

Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that, if a person is one step away from each person he or she knows and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is an average of six "steps" away from each person on Earth. The modern world is shrinking due to this ever-increasing connectedness of human beings. In a “small world,” our actions resonate in wide social and professional circles, broadcasting our persona for all to see.

Mindful of this phenomena, consider the advice of Lillian Eichler Watson “Don't reserve your best behavior for special occasions. You can't have two sets of manners, two social codes - one for those you admire and want to impress, another for those whom you consider unimportant. You must be the same to all people.”

Good business etiquette is about being on your best behavior and treating people as you appreciate being treated.

Stay employed and protect your professional reputation with these best practices:

• Be courteous and thoughtful to the people around you, in all professional environments—within your own organization, out in the marketplace, and even when encountering competitors
• Consider other people’s feelings, stick to your convictions as diplomatically as possible
• Talk and visit with people, regardless of their position or standing—remember what you can about people and to be thoughtful
• If you show respect and courtesy to everyone, you avoid discomfort or damaging your chances in any unexpected turn of events like a merger, acquisition or consolidation that brings together people in unforeseen ways
• Speak well of superiors within and outside the company, and give your leaders the benefit of the doubt—never surprise your boss or take her or her off guard
• In foreign or unfamiliar surroundings, be considerate and express an interest in learning—if in doubt, err on the conservative, formal side
• Don’t interrupt meetings or work sessions with telephone calls, use of electronic devices or ducking out—thank meeting attendants, and when attending meetings offer thanks to the organizer
• Always return calls; with email, remember that you’re communicating with a person, not a computer
• Look after new people and visiting workers—be sure that person has the resources and information that he or she needs to do the job
• Pass along credit and compliments—speak well of your coworkers and always point out their accomplishments
• Arrive on time and don’t overstay your welcome
• Because people make so many assumptions about you based on your image, it's important to think about whom you want them to think you are and dress accordingly
• Lying to and gossiping with people is never acceptable—inflammatory or disrespectful electronic communication can resurface and is best never written
• Poor etiquette loses the sale—speak only kindly to, and with respect to, prospects and clients—comments spoken behind the backs of clientele have a way of coming back around