How to Quit Without Guilt

If you are worrying about quitting, the conventional wisdom about the subject is:

Money talks. At the entry level it says: “Easily replaced.” If you are paid a low salary, the office is not going to be disabled if you leave. If you are so important and so difficult to replace, employers can pay to hire someone quickly.

If you have a good boss, your boss knew you were looking. Most people are job hunting - at least passively - all the time. It should not be news to your boss that you would quit if someone offered you a better opportunity. In a robust economy, the odds of you leaving at any moment are material, no matter how nice your boss is to you.

Your company has only a reasonable amount of loyalty to you. If your company laid you off, they’d give you no more than two weeks’ notice. That’s how the work world works. Play by the rules. Give two weeks notice. The two weeks’ rule is there because once people know about an upcoming separation, the workplace dynamic changes, and the less time you have to deal with this dynamic, the more productive everyone will be.

Good mentors care about you and want to see you grow. As your boss has been a good mentor to you, you owe it to him or her not to handle separation unprofessionally. If someone has been a good mentor and you have been a good “mentee,” then he or she should want the best for you.

But, it is not that simple. Leaving a job is as difficult as saying good-bye to your loved ones. Getting into a job is tough but quitting one is tougher.
Nearly everyone fears the thought of quitting a job. Not because we are not sure of getting a better opportunity, but because we just don't want to step out of the comfort zone and the uncertainty that causes. Most importantly, we do not want to hurt the feelings of managers and coworkers who invested in our success.

It is normal to contemplate missing the people you will leave behind by accepting a new job, and feel that you are letting them down somehow. Consider, however, that work is essentially an economic relationship, not a social one, so people have to do what's best for them. It works both ways, managers who lay off employees, feel the same way, even as they do what they know is right for the organization. In truth, your employer will survive without you. They survived before you were there and they will survive after. If making a move to a new position is the best thing for you, by all means tender your resignation in a compassionate and professional manner, giving appropriate notice.

The main reason people quit jobs is to better their career. Who could feel guilty about providing better for themselves and their family? You have to do for yourself, before you can do for others. Guilt is lessened when you realize that you would be inclined to do what is best for your loved ones before your employer, regardless of the quality of these work relationships.

When people leave jobs under normal career-progression circumstances (not when the threat of termination is present or because of extreme job dissatisfaction), most feel guilty and worry about “leaving in the lurch” managers and coworkers held in high regard. In contrast, after resigning is actually done and a little time has passed, the majority report that these feelings lessen as thoughts about the new position bring about excitement and positivity, characterized by certainty or acceptance.

When it comes to making tough decision about quitting, above all, you must know what you love and what you are good at. The ideal job is one that enables you to channel your best talents into what you best love doing. While that seems like a simple and obvious truth, it's not easy to implement. It requires effort. Perhaps that is why most of us prefer to compromise and settle for something that is “acceptable,” rather than take the less trodden path to seek out and accept the kind of job would most make us happy, where our passions and strengths are put to best and rewarding use.

Remember: Nothing worth doing is ever easy. If you want less than 100% job satisfaction, you don't need to take action. But if you want more, there's no shortcut. Self-awareness is the first step—realize that by receiving a viable job offer, your job-seeking activities is a statement of proof that your current job satisfaction is in serious question—consciously or unconsciously. The next step is to be courageous and quit, you have contributed to your employer commensurately with how you have been compensated—you can feel good about parting ways amicably, knowing that you are going forward in all fairness and good standing.

Deal With The Stress of a New Job

So you finally made it to your new workplace. Now take a deep breath and walk in with a smile on your face. Keep your head up and remember to make eye contact. Be polite and friendly to everyone you encounter, whether it's the receptionist or the mail room clerk, your colleagues or your new boss. Introduce yourself to those you meet and remember that it's okay to ask questions. People generally like to help others and it usually makes them feel good about themselves. A new co-worker who refuses all offers of help might cause some people to think you are a a person who feels superior and refuse to help in the future.

While it's okay to hold onto some of things you learned in your previous jobs and use that knowledge in your new job, remember that every workplace has its own way of doing things. Your first few weeks or even months on a job is not the time to change the way things get done. Do not utter these words: "That's not how we did it at my old company." Your colleagues will just be thinking this: "Well, you're not at your old company and if you liked it so much why didn't you stay there."

The length of time it takes you to adjust to a new job varies from person to person, and job to job. While you may fit in immediately at some jobs, it may take a little longer in others. And some people seem to fit in immediately wherever they go. All you can do is try your best, and do your job the best way you know how. The following tips may help:

Ask questions. You're new and it's better to do something right the first time around than have to do it over.

Smile a lot and be friendly. Get to know your co-workers and what their interests are.

Use your lunch hours to get together with your current co-workers, although it may be tempting to meet up with your former ones.

Figure out who has the authority to give you work to do and who is just trying to have you do theirs.

Pay attention to the grapevine, but don't contribute to it. You don't want to gain a reputation as a gossip.

Don't complain about what you immediately encounter in the workplace, or your previous job.

Arrive early and don't rush out the door at the end of the day.

Volunteer for projects that will help you get noticed, but don't neglect any assigned work.

Keep a positive attitude and an open mind. Your life has changed and it will take getting used to.

New jobs present many changes and challenges, and it's natural to feel stress over this. There are several things you can do to both relieve stress and combat its effects. Here are some suggestions in dealing with stress at a new job or in any other situation that requires change and adjustment:

Find Support: If you can, find support from people in your life. Talking about what's stressing you should help a lot.

Quick Stress Relievers: There are many ways to calm down quickly when you suddenly get blindsided by stress and feel overwhelmed. The following are a few quick and easy ways to regain your calm so you can deal with whatever situations are at hand:

Take a Walk: Exercise can be a great stress reliever in itself, as it helps you blow off steam and releases endorphins. Taking a walk when stressed provides the bonus of getting you out of the stressful situation and providing some perspective so you can return in a new frame of mind.

Take a Breath: If you're not in a position to leave, you can feel better right away by breathing deeply in a measured way for a few minutes--sit or stand in a relaxed position; slowly inhale through your nose, counting to five in your head; let the air out from your mouth, counting to eight in your head as it leaves your lungs; repeat several times.

Take a Mental Break: If you can steal away a few minutes of peace and envision, with great detail relating to all of the senses, a relaxing scene—visualization is a wonderful way to restore peace of mind.

Re rame Your Situation: Sometimes we intensify our experience of stressful situations by the way we look at them. If you can look at your situation differently, you may be able to put it into a different perspective--one that causes you less stress! Being “Type A”, Negative Self Talk, Poor Conflict Resolution Skills, Pessimism, Taking On Too Much are some of the most common ways that people create mental and emotional stress in their own lives. Carefully think about whether any of these self sabotage techniques apply to you, so you can make simple changes to reduce significant mental and emotional stress from your life.

Once you've been able to calm down, you should be in a better position to address whatever stressful situations you're experiencing. It's also a good idea to adopt a few regular stress relievers and healthy lifestyle habits so that you can reduce your overall stress level, experience less stress and are less bothered by the stressful situations you do encounter.

Have a Regular Stress Relief Hobby: Try to maintain some time in your life to do some stress-relieving in your life, so that you feel less stress overall--exercise, a hobby, or another regular practice that you enjoy.

Take Care of Yourself: If you're able to eat right, get enough sleep, and take vitamins, you'll be less worn down physically so you'll be less reactive to stress, and you'll be in better overall health.

People have deep attachments to their work groups, organizational structures, personal responsibilities, and ways of accomplishing work. When any of these are disturbed, a transition period occurs. During this transition, people can expect to experience a period of letting go of the old ways as they begin moving toward and integrating the new.

Source: About.com

Make Your Company a Talent Factory

Key ideas from the Harvard Business Review article by Douglas A. Ready, Jay A. Conger

An astonishing number of companies are struggling to fill key positions. This talent shortage is putting an enormous strain on their potential to expand into new markets. One real estate development firm recently had to pass on a 500 million major reconstruction job after realizing it hadn't groomed anyone capable of leading the project.

Talent shortages have two causes: Companies' talent development strategies are out of sync with their strategic goals. And senior executives lack a deep-seated commitment to talent management.

To create a free-flowing pipeline of current and future leaders, Ready and Conger recommend marrying "functionality" (rigorous talent processes that support your company's strategic objectives) with "vitality" (a passion for talent cultivation among executives). At Procter & Gamble, for example, the CEO and senior team personally teach all the leadership development courses for the company's top 300 executives.

The Idea in Practice

Building Functionality
Ready and Conger recommend these processes to help you put the right people with the right skills in the right place at the right time:

Help people understand your strategic objectives. For example, financial services giant HSBC holds conferences to educate employees about the firm's strategy for increasing cross-unit collaboration and to highlight collaborative initiatives. At one conference, some general managers explained how they transferred a client from the commercial banking unit to the private banking unit. Previously, the first unit to "own" that client wouldn't have shared him with other units, because the original unit wanted to still be associated with that client's revenues. After each conference, participants are asked to commit to doing one or two things differently to strengthen the firm's collaborative capabilities.

Groom people for complex, challenging jobs. Consumer products company P&G's growth strategy hinges on winning in emerging markets. To help high-potential employees advance, the company moves them through a portfolio of senior-level jobs categorized according to strategic challenges, size of the business, and complexity of the market. First-time general managers might initially take a relatively small country-manager position and then be placed in charge of larger countries and, later, of regions.

Fostering Vitality

To foster vitality:
Build commitment to talent development. P&G hires 90% of its entry-level managers straight from universities and grows their careers over time. It also sponsors a college intern program that offers participants chances to assume real responsibility by working on important projects. The company takes on former interns as full-time employees at a percentage well above that of most competitors, modeling commitment to talent development.

Encourage engagement. HSBC requires each unit to have a talent implementation strategy. These plans explicitly link a unit's growth objectives to its people development activities. The corporate head of talent works closely with each unit to develop its proposed strategy and presents the aggregated plans to the group head office, highlighting any talent gaps that could threaten the firm's growth objectives. This process keeps talent management high on the agendas of line and corporate leaders, and prevents them from getting distracted by seemingly more pressing problems.

Ensure accountability. Hold all managers and executives accountable for doing their part to make talent processes work. P&G's CEO A.G. Lafley claims ownership of career planning for all the general managers, vice presidents, and talent pools involved in the company's top 16 markets, customers, and brands.


Copyright 2007 Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation. All rights reserved.

Watch for Interview Warning Signs

Hindsight may be better than 20/20, but if you pay attention during an interview, you might be able to head off a bad fit.
By LIZ RYAN

I got a call from my friend Candace, and she was in low spirits. She had just returned to Wisconsin after moving to Florida to take a job. She took the job, she hated it, she lasted six months, she quit, and she moved back. "I should have known, " she said. "I should have picked up on the signs during the interview. There are always signs, aren't there?"

"I'm torn, " I told her. "If I tell you 'Yes, there are always signs' then you'll feel bad. If I say 'No, sometimes things just get weird after you're hired,' then you'll think the universe is capricious and you won't feel like you have any better odds of finding the right situation the next time around."

"Forget about my feelings!" she cried. "What do you really think?"

"I think you should tell me what you saw or heard in the interview process that you now feel you should have taken more seriously," I told her. "Then we can talk about what that sign might have meant, and what you could do differently in your upcoming job search."

The Red Flag

"O.K.," said Candace. "Well, there was only one sign, really. I was applying for a marketing communications job. I've always done a lot of writing and editing, and as you know, I have a Master's degree and I consider myself a really good writer. So there was one point in the last interview where my manager indicated that he was very interested in me and he was considering making me an offer. At that point he said: ‘You're an adequate writer, and I could make you better.'"

"GAAACK!" I said."

"That was a big sign I missed, wasn't it?" Candace asked.

"Well, " I told her, "the thing is that hindsight is 20/20. Hindsight is better than 20/20—it's LASIK. Through rear-facing glasses, it seems obvious that your ex-boss had issues."

"Right, well, he turned out to be a total control-freak and a guy who's impossible to please," she said. "That's why I left. Am I a complete idiot for missing that red flag?"

A Sick Ticket

"It's so easy to overlook those bizarre statements in the frenzy of the interview process," I reassured her. "Look, Candace, I've missed every sign in the book. I hired a guy in a human resources role who said in the interview that every 10 minutes, he asks himself: 'Am I having fun in my work?' I should have asked him a few questions about that. You mean literally, every 10 minutes? Who does that? It turned out that the guy was using his company cell phone to call some offshore gambling line every 10 minutes."

O.K., back to your ex-boss. I'm an HR person and not a psychologist, but I'd call this guy a Sick Ticket. What kind of boss tells the person he's about to hire: 'You are adequate, but I could make you better?' That's totally passive-aggressive. It means that he wants to test you before hiring you, to make sure you're O.K. with being insulted. He wouldn't want to hire a person who would say something in his own defense."

So I should have said something," Candace said.

"Hindsight is LASIK," I repeated. "Now listen. Let's say that you or any other candidate had said: 'Excuse me? You think I'm an adequate writer, but you want to hire me? I'm terribly sorry. I want to work for a company that I think is outstanding and that thinks I'm outstanding, too." Then your boss would have known that that person wasn't going to put up with his leadership style, if you want to call it that."

"And when he said he could make me a better writer that a signal that he didn't just want to be my boss, but he saw himself as superior to me, too. I mean, he's not even a writer,” Candace said.

The Little Weird Thing

"Well, it's just such a hostile thing to say," I added. "Certainly if you hire someone right out of school, it's fine to say: 'We hope that I, as your manager, and lots of other people here will give you all sorts of professional training and mentoring.' That's great. But when you say to a seasoned professional, 'You're adequate and I can make you better,' it's like you're telling her that only with your expert guidance can she rise above her current state of mediocrity. That says a lot. The guy wanted someone under him who didn't have a lot of confidence. Too bad he hired you."

"Yeah, too bad for both of us," said Candace. "Well, now I know for next time."

"But next time the little weird thing in the interview, if there is one, will be different," I told her. "You don't have to react to it in the moment, and you don't even have to dope it out by yourself. After every interview, call a friend—me or someone else. Walk through the whole interview. A second pair of ears, a few hours after the fact, will help you figure out what means what and how to process all the information you've taken in. It can be a lot to digest on your own."

Deconstructing the Interview

"Especially when you've already talked yourself into the job," Candace added. "I'm going to have my red-flag radar on full alert on my next job hunt."

"The good news is that you'll never be sucked into that particular vortex again," I said. "Now that you've worked in the snake pit and survived, you have more confidence. You wouldn't sit still for a prospective manager telling you you're adequate, not in this lifetime anyway."

And this is true for all of you out there. Deconstruct the interview with someone, because if you don't see the signs, your friend might.

BusinessWeek Online, September 2007

Balancing business travel with your life: 5 tips

An increasing number people who travel for a living are concluding that their lives are out of balance. More than half of all business travelers say the time they spent with family has been significantly reduced as a result of being on the road, compared with 39% in 2001. And more than one-third said social time spent with friends suffered through the demands of traveling for their company, compared with 28% in 2001.

If you feel you're on the road too much, here are five steps toward positive change.

1. Tap the brakes before you get into an accident. Years of heavy travel will take a toll on most people. If you can think of your career as a car ride, remember to hit the brakes every now and then. That means taking breaks from traveling.

2. Use the tools you have to set a reasonable pace. This is a struggle for any business traveler — even the ones who have achieved a better balance. Microsoft Outlook's Calendar function is a good tool. It allows you to identify the most important appointments and it prompts you when they're due. While that's far more efficient than writing everything down on a memo pad, it is possible to have too much of a good thing where every little "to-do" item starts popping up on your screen, frequently interrupting your concentration. Another option is Franklin Planner for Outlook (www.franklincover/fpo) which lets you further prioritize your appointments. It also integrates nicely with Outlook. A caution: Technology alone won't put your life back into balance. But it can help.

3. Ask yourself: Do I really need to be there in person? A lot of business meetings can be accomplished virtually, with the help of Web conferencing software. The use of "virtual meeting" technologies experienced an uptick after 9/11, as companies cut back on business travel. But even now, as corporate travel heats up again, there are still plenty of smart reasons to pick Web-based meeting applications over an in-person meeting. Not the least of these is the fact that you eliminate the stress of traveling.

4. Remember: Garbage in, ugh, garbage out. When you spend time on the road, you tend to eat food you normally wouldn't (and in quantities you wouldn't) drink things you wouldn't, put off exercising and get insufficient sleep. Whoa. That alone is enough to knock your life out of balance. Try to maintain as many elements of your “regular life” on the road to maintain your health. Pack essentials that support familiar routines and diet.

5. Don't forget your friends, family and loved ones. It's possible to burn the figurative candle at both ends to have a successful business. But, the whole exercise seems rather pointless if you alienate everyone around you in the process. Don't think of your colleagues and relatives as obstacles standing in the way of your success — tethering you to the office when you should be out on the road drumming up business. Think of them instead as your support group. They'll be there when you need them.

Is bringing your career into balance an all-or-nothing proposition? Not necessarily, small steps and best practices repeated over time help you have a life and a career.

By Christopher Elliott

How to Avoid the Counter-Offer Trap

Counter-offers may be flattering, but what do they truly represent? A sincere renewed commitment to a resigning employee? Not exactly--they are no more than an employer’s attempt to minimize loss. Loss is significant when even the average employee resigns, so it is important that employees see through the manipulation and make an educated decision based on their own interests and professional development.

Labeling a counter-offer as a means of manipulation is arguably a strong accusation, but after years of seeing candidates reject great opportunities, only to succumb to false flattery, no other description seems adequate. The majority of employees are keen to receive the attention of their employer, despite there being times when their work and personal needs have gone unrecognized during their tenure. This makes a counter-offer an even more attractive option as it appears to be the acknowledgment that had previously been so conspicuously absent. The problem, of course, is that it is not the real recognition they seek and is not on a par with accolades and promised that are offered without the pressure of a resignation letter on the table.

Seeking new opportunities should never be used as a means of increasing salary. Despite any apparent improvement in working conditions and salary, the real battle is lost as ultimately, the employer’s hand has been forced and thus loyalties have been compromised. Employees desiring better professional prospects or higher pay should fight on the merits of their contributions to the business without resorting to threats of departure. If this is not possible and career development opportunities are not enough to offset an employee’s wants, needs and career objectives, then they need to work towards finding new employment with a determination not to look back. Making this decision closes the door to counter-offers and ensures that new opportunities are sought for the right reasons and without secondary motivations.

Regardless of their intentions, some find it too difficult, both emotionally and practically, to turn down the rewards a counter-offer may bring. For many this may be increased salary, better benefits, improved working conditions, or even stock holdings in the company. It is only by seeing these perks as a mitigator of loss and not as a recognition of achievement or gesture of understanding that they can be viewed in the correct light.

Expect a counter-offer: any good candidate is sure to attract the attention of their employer and therefore be offered more favorable employment than their current circumstance. By learning to expect this beforehand, surprises can be avoided later and candidates are able to recognize that these benefits would have been offered upfront if the employer truly wanted to recognize their contributions and them as a person.

Why can employers offer so much when faced with a resignation? The main reason is that the cost of hiring a new employee is so prohibitively high. To determine the cost, one needs to add: the loss of opportunity and output of the former employee; those of the staff needed to interview new candidates; and the price of a recruitment agency or advertising platform to solicit new applications. This equation often generates a cost in excess of $20,000, and this is only for lower level positions and under conditions when the position is filled quickly. In situations where the employee is senior or has a large influence on the organization, costs mount quickly with added factors such as the impact on morale, training costs and temporary coverage costs. If you were the manager, a couple of grand pay rise seems cheap – doesn’t it?

With such loaded motivation, employees should never consider a counter-offer as a sign of recognition. They should also consider carefully what life will be like for them in the company after their attempted resignation. Will they still be considered loyal? Will their manager feel forced to make concessions and be bitter as a result? How will this effect career development prospects? Has anything really changed?

Accepting a counter-offer does not only have an effect on professional development opportunities within the company, but may also cause ill feelings on the part of the company originating the offer, as well as with the recruiter. Recruiters lose face when candidates pull out of accepted engagements at the last minute. This can affect an employee’s reputation in the marketplace and future access to new opportunities.

By seeing a counter-offer as a tool of manipulation, employees see through the machinations of an employer that is desperate to keep their costs in line. Praise, development, accommodation, rewards and bonuses are given during an employee’s tenure with an organization and not because of resignation. Employees who interpret a counter-offer as praise are missing important career development opportunities, negatively affecting their future with their present employer and potentially compromising their job opportunities in the future.

To avoid this dilemma, be clear about your reasons for seeking alternative employment in the first place. Expect a counter-offer and be determined to turn it down, regardless of the salary. Be proud of yourself for making employment decisions in a calm and logical manner, looking out for your own personal development opportunities and career growth. No one else will, nor will they start to simply because of your decision to leave.

Advice on Re-recruiting Key Team Members

Bosses should always assume that their best employees are getting calls and offers from their competitors. Bosses should think of retention as re-recruiting their work force. This means applying the strategies and tools of external recruiting to current employees. It means proactively reaching out to top talent on a regular and ongoing basis. Top talent must continually be challenged to keep them.

The answers to the following questions can often determine whether or not they will stay on their jobs:

1. If you could make any changes about your job, what would they be?
2. What things about your job do you want to stay as they are?
3. If you could go back to any previous position and stay for an extended period of time, which one would it be and why?
4. If you suddenly became financially independent, what would you miss most about your job?
5. In the morning, does your job make you jump out of bed or hit the snooze button?
6. What makes for a great day?
7. What can we do to make your job more satisfying?
8. What can we do to support your career goals?
9. Do you get enough recognition?
10. What can we do to keep you with us?

Although they can be useful at review time, these questions don't have to be asked in a formal session. Bosses are encouraged to schedule time when they can introduce these topics in an informal manner - over a cup of coffee or lunch, for instance. The key to success is promptly addressing issues that could lead to losing a key member of the team, or making sure that the employee has a full understanding of situations that cannot be easily changed. Using this technique can actually enhance communication between managers and their employees.

Source: MRINetwork
Ten Questions the Boss Should Ask Every Employee
Thursday August 9, 9:00 am ET MRINetwork(TM)

For Many Job Hunters, Money Is Not a Priority

They say money isn't everything, and that's true for many job hunters. While it may seem intuitive that most are concerned with compensation, it isn't always top of the list. Priorities change not only during a job, but also over a career.

When "early career" workers -- those up to age 35 -- and workers in their 40s have acquired skill sets and are deciding where they want to settle for the long run, they often take a look around, says Steve Gravenkemper, a consulting psychologist for workplace consultancy Plante & Moran LLP of Southfield, Mich., and that's the point at which many companies lose people in whom they have invested time and training.

A recent study conducted by consultancy Accenture Ltd. in 21 countries on six continents found challenging and interesting work topped the list of employer characteristics that job candidates sought when considering a new position. Rewards and compensation were a close second, and opportunity for advancement third, followed closely by a company's long-term prospects. But other popular concepts like corporate citizenship and workplace diversity were at the bottom of the list of 15 qualities.

"There are basic needs: compensation, challenge. But once you get employees in the door with these, they'll move on to looking for other things" like working for a responsible company or one that encourages teamwork, says John Campagnino, Accenture's global head of recruiting. "You need to offer recruits a package with as many of these characteristics as possible. Priorities shift over time."

Beyond entry level, the decision becomes complicated by more responsibilities -- not just marriage and children, but also the time workers have invested in honing their skills, where they have chosen to settle, and long-term goals such as retirement benefits.

"There's a paradox," says Plante & Moran's Mr. Gravenkemper. "At midcareer, people may realize how important job security is to them, and yet job security may be an illusion. Workers used to go into a company knowing ... that if they did a good job they would be employed for life. Now that's no guarantee. They want to know 'What's in it for me?' "

He adds, "I was working for one company with a group of high-potential employees...and one employee said, 'I'm so glad to see you -- I never knew I was high-potential before.' It's often the strongest performers who leave because they have the most options."

Maturing needs are why many alumni continue to utilize career services, says Beverly Principal, assistant director for employment services at Stanford University in Stanford, Calif., which offers students career counseling for life.

Ms. Principal says she often sees former students who are trying to make the transition from entry level to the next step, or to start their own business. Five or six years after they start a career, "people may have a family and want completely different things. They need help figuring out the transition."

Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pa., has two staffers dedicated solely to helping alumni. "When the economy is good we see people looking to make more drastic changes," says Donna Goldfeder, director of career services. "When the economy is tight and things are scary" they will be more cautious about such transitions.

Companies can retain workers they have invested in, she adds. "Supervisors should show their appreciation, give compliments. It's really still about the human touch. Are your workers happy?"

By Teresa Rivas
From The Wall Street Journal Online